


The electronic birds and cyber bees

by Howdafloof



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Allens mouth is loose, Ben is a pretty good boi, Conner wants to know about sex, Gavin is kind of a dick, Hank wants Conner’s purity intact, Humour, Swearing, and his reputation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-10-16 08:08:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17545880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Howdafloof/pseuds/Howdafloof
Summary: An argument over who gets to have Conner for a case turns into said android attempting to correct details on his genitalia while embarrassing Hank.





	The electronic birds and cyber bees

**Author's Note:**

> Connor is a pure boi.
> 
> That is all.

“I called him!”

“My case is fucking important!”

“So is mine-major red ice dealer located!”

“Jesus Collins can’t you deal with that shit alone!?”

“Protocol states at least two officers must be present in the case of anything to do with Red Ice-you know that!”

“Well fuck the system! I need that plastic hunks analysis shit for a hoarders place-it’s gonna take days to sort through-“ Gavin suddenly cut himself off as he registers Hank and Ben’s wide eyed stare and his previous words.

“HUNK OF PLASTIC-you know what I meant you sick fucks!” He hastily (and loudly) corrects.

“Aw Reed, you sticking up for Connor? You have changed~” Hank cooed placing a hand over his heart. Gavin looks like he is about to explode.

“Wow sorry for doing WHAT YOU SAID-you were the one who kept getting on my ass about ‘being fwendwwyyyy’ The detective sneers back.

“Yeh friendly-not friendzoned” Hank snorts and Collins ducks briefly to hide the smile that threatens to break out. Gavin hisses.

“Oh fuck you Anderson-you’re just jealous because the plastic prick is probably using his plastic dick more then you ever could!”

“Negative Detective Reed-“ Connor starts from behind them, the entire group of hardened policeman jumping around in a ‘hand in the Cooke jar moment’. Hank gasps while Gavin goes bug-eyed and Ben coughs into his hand awkwardly. “-I do not have the genitalia to participate in any sort of intercourse” he continues, unaffected by their shock. Behind the android a casually dressed Captain Allen is approaching the group obviously overhearing Connor’s statement. The Captain is clad in loose cargo shorts, a T-shirt and black boots, a couple of small files are tucked under his large exposed arm.

“What the fuck are you guys talking about?” The black haired man enquires, scanning the 3 humans and android.

Gavin sneers at the man and sniff the air, recognising the captain is wearing Cologne, he grins cruelly.

“Hey Captain, you smell nice, you here to pick up Connor? Cause I got some bad news if you’re thinking of taking him home with you-“

“Shut the fuck up Reed, he’s delivering case files on his day off-give the man a break” Hank snaps at the detective. Connor, undeterred by the bitching turns to Captain Allen.

“Detective Reed implies I regularly partake in intercourse-more So then the Lieutenant.” He starts, Hank groaning and dragging a hand down his face while The human detectives snicker, Allen frowns.

“However it is impossible due to the fact I posses no genitalia and comparing the Lieutenants sex life to mine is petty at best detective Reed.” Connor finishes, turning back to Gavin with a disappointed look. Gavin just smirks and rolls his eyes while Hank grumbles at having to deal with the android pointing out embarrassing shit. Allen seems to be thinking hard about something, eyes trained on the floor. 

“You really don’t have a dick-“ the Captain cuts himself off and his free hand darts up as if making to cover his mouth, obviously not intending to let that train of thought out. He glances around in an awkward fashion, a rare sigh for the usually composed man, even ducking away from Hanks glare.

Despite the seemingly awkward response Connor just tilts his head and responds nonchalantly.

“Of course not captain-what would a negotiator need genitalia fo-“ Connor suddenly cuts himself off mid sentence, and if the captain being awkward is rare, Connor interrupting one of his perfectly processed speeches is legendary.

However the others within the group have caught onto the androids train of thought and a stiff silence comes over them, no one dares say it in case Hank loses his already strained temper. The Captain’s folders are bending under the weight he’s putting on them.

“Oh” Connor finishes lamely, his mouth catching up with his processors and another wave of embarrassment crosses over the group. 

Except Hank. Hank just looks mad.

Despite the awkwardness he exhibited only moments ago, Connors frown turns into a perplexed yet interested look and he taps his chin with a finger.

“I hadn’t thought of that-though I suppose if the opportunity arose I could experiment with my mouth-“

“CONNOR!!”

If there was anyone in the precinct who: A. Didn’t believe Hank was once a father or B. Didn’t know Hank was annoyed at Connor, both things were now clear. 

Hank bellow was one most exasperated parents at the end of their rope might use as their child proceeds to drag the expensive couch cushions outside in the rain to make a fort. It was the ultimate in ‘angry Dad’ vocals that made anyone nearby jump and with it came the steel melting glare. Said glare was normally used to either scold the child on a lower setting, or full power on anyone might offend or hurt said child.

To put the power of the ‘Dad glare’ in perspective: it could shut an angry Gavin Reed up in a single look.

“Connor we have...a Er case-Get in the car!” Hank manages to get out fairly evenly, he’s proud how the three other humans are still standing quietly, one of Allen’s folders have slipped onto the floor, said man just stares down at it. In fact Gavin is staring at it as well.

It must be very interesting.

Connor simply nods and Hank gives his own nod at the group, each of who respond with a minute “bye” as he passes.

As they walk towards the glass doors of the precinct Conner looks up at him.

“I apologise for my actions earlier Lieutenant-I should not have breached a subject that I am not aptly trained in-“ he starts before Hank cuts him off with a “forget it” after all, the group can still hear them and he doesn’t want to tarnish his rep further.

Conner, sweet innocent Conner proceeds to run over this plan in a dumper truck as he suddenly stops and gasps, Hank sees the 3 men who had started to go there separate ways look over out the corner of his eye.

“Why don’t YOU teach me about sex Lieutenant!” The androids says with such pride Hank would be bawling at the love that’s being expressed if it were any other subject.

He might bawl now as the group behind him erupts in laughter and he hears Allen loose his other file.

“Jesus Christ Conner...”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked feel free to comment and kudos.


End file.
